First Day

With a bit of trepidation in my heart, I walked to my youngest son's school this afternoon, to fetch him home after his first day of school this year. This year he is going to a brand new school; and for the first time ever, a school without the reassuring presence of his older brother.
Last night while tucking him into bed he leaned in for a hug, sucked in a deep breath and said a with a little tremor "I hope they like me." I smiled at him and reminded him that no matter what, I love him and know he is a very likeable boy. Earlier in the day he had chosen a t-shirt to wear to school the first day, that has a photograph of his class from last year screenprinted on it. He said he wanted the other kids to see that he had already been in another Italian school.
Today as I waited outside the gate, lost in the press of the parents and grandparents waiting for the children to come out of the doors of the school, I searched the faces. Finally I saw my youngest son (as I write this it occurs to me that in a couple of months I won't be able to refer to Matthew in this way, he will be my middle son!) and I jumped up and down, waving my arm high above heads to try to attract his attention. He saw me. I saw a slight smile appear then he moved with purpose through the sea of people toward me. We didn't try to hug or even speak, we walked away from the crowd. Finally when there was breathing room I turned and hugged him and looked at this sweet boy. I knew he had a good day. His face reflected calm and satisfaction. "They were nice. I won a game of "find four" against some of my new friends four times! One of them wanted me to pretend I didn't trap him in a move, so I said Okay... Mamma, I don't think they even know I am American! I only spoke Italian." We smiled at each other and walked home.
Later he drove home the point with his older brother Gabriel who starts middle school tomorow. Gabriel had been waiting at home full of curiosity about his brother's day at school. Matthew told him all about it and gave this advice: "Don't tell them that you are American. Just let them think you are Italian. Then once they get to know you, you can tell them." "Why?" we asked. "So you have a chance to make friends. Otherwise they will think you can't speak Italian and they will want to ignore you, or will always think you are too different, like my class did last year."
Oh my child, I understand you more than you think I do! But maybe this goes too deep for now.
In the two and a half years that my children have been here, I have seen them grow tremendously. Gabriel is so comfortable in Italian that he is almost complacent. His teachers last year commented that he deserved the high grades he received and that they graded him no differently than an Italian boy who was born here, and they were amazed like us at how quickly he was able to master the language other than a few strange verb usages here and there. All of his work, history, geography, mathematics etc. is conducted in Italian. With Matthew it has been more of a struggle. He is proud, and rightly so of his newfound mastery of Italian, thrilled that it is good enough that his new classmates don't see him as "foreign."
I am sitting here this evening feeling emotional, but mostly grateful. One of my children had a great first day! We worked very hard to get Matthew inserted into this particular class in this school. We are hoping that the Montessori method will make a difference in his educational success. We were told that there was no way he could be admitted into this class, too many other children were ahead of us on the list. So we were persistent for a while. Then I gave up. Then the powers that be called my husband and told him they had room for Matthew! We met his teacher and were duly impressed. So now I have such a hope for a fantastic school year for this boy.
One down, one to go. Tomorrow will be Gabriels' first day in middle school. Oh the drama and theatrics that have been present in our house due to this fact. Have I told you about Italian middle schools yet? Mamma mia! I will have to fill you in even if all our information comes through the grape vine of course, as he hasn't actually attended one yet.