Hello?

*Warning, not for those with weak stomachs. This post contains mention of "stinky" things.



After seemingly abandoning my blog for so long, I hope the following conversation can at least partially explain my absence, if not totally excuse it.




M: Before we go, do you have everything you need?


Me: Yes, I think so.


M: Plastic barf bags?


Me: Yes.


M: Candy? (Referring to the strong sugarless licorice candy I always carry in my pockets nowadays).


Me: Yes, I couldn’t survive without it y’know.


M: Handkerchief? (Referring to the heavily fragrance laden tissue that I always carry in my pockets nowadays).


Me: Yes, I am ready.


M: Well, it looks like we can go, but do you have to go to the bathroom first?


Me: Oh, you're right, I better go do that. I am highly suggestible this way. That and my bladder capacity has recently decreased.


Finally we are ready to face the gauntlet of cigarette smoke and other "strange smells" that will assail my poor innocent nostrils on yet another of our visits to le ostetriche, the kind midwives of Santa Anna.


What amazes me nearly as much as finding out that I am pregnant again after ten years (ten years people!) is that every clinic or doctors office or hospital that I have had to enter recently always has a crowd of smokers outside the door. I literally have to breathe through a perfumed handkerchief while running and gasping and telling my stomach to please not revolt. I hate throwing up, but hate even more when it happens in public. When I am not pregnant I don’t mind smelling smoke, as long as I am not eating, but it is merely a slight annoyance. But now, cigarette smoke is the kiss of death, and when I smell it, the scent lingers in my nasal passages for hours, tormenting me. Having gone through this twice before, I know that my sense of smell will return to normal after the birth of the baby, but for now... if I leave the house, I must always carry my "barf kit".


In my previous two pregnancies, I endured the morning sickness which was really morning, noon, night, (actually any time I was conscious) sickness for the entire length of the pregnancy! This time though, I already feel quite hopeful. I have moments during the day when I don’t feel sick at all, and only strong smells bring it on. I would love to have a more "normal" pregnancy, like the many women who begin to feel better between their 14th to 16th week.


I am past that and am in my 19th week of pregnancy now. But things are definitely looking up. I still can't eat out in a restaurant because of the many smells, but especially for the scent of coffee. That affects me nearly as badly as cigarettes.


I can more easily cook meat for my family now.


Just this morning I went for a walk. I actually left the sanctuary of my house without having an appointment somewhere! I left for the pleasure of seeing the wild flowers in the grass, and the blue sky and sun shimmering the green leaves of the trees. I love that we have a park so near our house. This morning I discovered that although the park has quite a few people in it early in the mornings, they are usually joggers! Joggers don’t normally smoke, at least not while they are jogging. And there were wide open spaces which makes a quick getaway easier for me.


I have hope that maybe this time, I will be able to enjoy being pregnant. My previous memories of pregnancy include much sickness, moving on to tender breasts, moving on to becoming enormous like a beached whale, accompanied by strange aches and pains and learning to live with less and less sleep at night because really, trying to sleep with a watermelon in your tummy is nearly impossible. I think that this discomfort in latter pregnancy is a training mechanism your body has, so that when you have a newborn that won’t let you sleep for longer than an hour at a time, you are already used to the lack of sleep. Or. You are so desperate for sleep that you crave being able to FINALLY give birth even when that means that the watermelon must come OUT. Anyone less sleep deprived would know better.


The boys are ecstatic and can’t wait for the baby to arrive in December. My youngest often caresses my tummy and talks to the baby. My oldest tells me how beautiful I am and asks many questions. They both are a lot more cuddly with me lately, and I think they are just amazed that there is a baby growing inside me. Me too, to tell the truth. It is an incredible thing to realize. I have been feeling it move around inside like a little fish. Next week will be the ultrasound. If the baby is not shy we should be able to see if it is a boy or a girl.