Monday, November 6, 2006

A Mother's musings


The cutest babies in the world are right here in Torino. How do I know? M and I attended the baby shower for Veronica at the home of her proud parents Gina and Deme. It was wonderful to see this sweet newborn, as well as the other beautiful babies at the party.
Veronica is so precious that it is almost impossible to take your eyes off her. Newborns have that special power, the ability to completely captivate our attention while they sleep, yawn and stretch.
I remember with my own two babies. How many hours did I lose, just watching them? Countless.
After being at the party and holding hands with sweet little babies, I went home and looked at my own two boys, so grown up. They are (gasp) halfway through their childhood now. I feel a sense of loss. I wish I could stop time; keep them as they are now, before they grow up all the way. It is ironic that now I am home, while they are at school all day... while in their early years I spent so much of the time away from home working and going to school.
I remember when they were babies, secretly wishing they would stay little. Knowing it was impossible of course still couldn’t stop the wishing. I was also curious to see how they would grow, and I loved them so much for all that they were as well as for their wonderful potential. But still I treasured every moment they were babies, and couldn’t really imagine them as children.
And they really do grow too quickly. In only a couple of years one will be a teenager. How can this be? I feel a little panicky about this. I have so much more to teach them, to share with them, to experience with them before they decide that they know everything. I am lucky. They are still cuddly boys even though they are so grown up. I still get daily “Mamma I love you”, and lots of hugs. My oldest says he wants me to hold him on my lap until they day he is big enough to hold me! It is a nice thought, but somewhere in between here and there he will become a teenager.
Luckily for me we live in Italy. Here children stay with their parents much longer than the typical American child who leaves for the University or to work at the tender age of 18. So... If I am optimistic I can expect to enjoy being around my children daily for at least ten more years!
But I know how much someone can change in ten years. From a tiny baby full of wonder to a vivacious child, full of imagination. What will the second ten years be like, this journey of a child to a young adult?
And will I look back upon today and yearn for it in the way I am now looking back to their first year?

2 comments:

  1. I sometimes get a deep sorrow and miss the little toddler Zane was. It's almost like mourning for the little boy even though he hasn't died he's just grown up. This happens when I watch old videos of him.
    Zane always says he's never moving out till he gets married, and I truly hope this is true cause I'd miss him (even though he is driving me crazy lately)

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  2. yes, I think this is a hard age for us mothers... our baby chickys are just learning to spread their wings and we have to let them! And we have to hug them now while they still let us! If you want, email me... the link is in my profile. I looked for yours and couldn't find one. I wanted to make a comment to one of your posts but thought I would end up writing a book and so... I left it alone!
    Ciao!

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